How My Miscarriage has Been One of my Greatest Blessings

How my miscarriage has been one of my greatest blessings and led me to work in the postpartum care space

          In December of 2019 I had a miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy, and my husband Kyle and I were delightfully surprised when we found out we were pregnant. I was eight weeks when we miscarried, and though it absolutely crushed our worlds it was truly one of the greatest blessings in my life. The weeks and months following my miscarriage were some of the most transformational moments of my life. Though it completely rocked my world, it broke me open and challenged me in all new ways. With support from a variety of teachers, therapists, coaches, doctors, and body workers, I was able to connect deeper with myself, find real inner peace, and tackle health challenges I had always ignored.

          For as long as I can remember my menstrual cycle was irregular. I was on a birth control pill for over a decade, and once I came off, my period didn’t return. In fact, we were shocked we got pregnant because I hadn’t had a bleed, never mind knowing if I was even ovulating. This wake-up call led me to seek out hormone health and fertility support at Bird & Bee. After working with Kate for a short three months I successfully got my period back naturally and conceived. Kyle and I are expecting our baby in early May of this year. 

          This pregnancy is far different than my first. Not only because of the obvious that I’ve maintained this pregnancy, but due to the absolute inner peace I have in my heart, in thanks to my miscarriage. While miscarriages happen in about ten percent of known pregnancies, there is not clear evidence as to the causes of early loss of pregnancy. Much of my healing is credited to wholeheartedly believing that I nor my baby did anything “wrong” to cause the loss. Accepting this truth has been key for me. My own meditation and breathing practices have also been instrumental in my peace this pregnancy. Fear of loss again has certainly come up, so I have a specific mantra I use when those thoughts or feelings come up to bring me back to calmness and trust. 

          Lastly, my miscarriage opened my eyes to a part of myself that I had not yet awakened to and that is my femininity – my hormone health, my feminine energy – what makes me, me. It literally transformed me to a deeper part of myself, connecting me closer to ever before with myself, and my babies. It’s brought me greater clarity and purpose in reconnecting women to their most authentic selves. It led me to receive me pre- and post-natal yoga certifications and my postpartum doula training. And it’s brought me full circle with all of my personal experiences and education together in one beautiful offering. I now work at Bird & Bee as an integrative health coach in the postpartum space to support, empower, educate, and connect mamas in their postpartum journeys to help ease their transitions in motherhood. 

          I believe experiences happen for us and not to us. I believe in the power of sharing our experiences as both healing modalities and deeper connection to others. I believe in community and support systems to guide us further along our paths, to teach us, and to empower us to reach our unique goals. I believe that we all can have true inner peace without experiencing great loss. And I believe that when we get quiet, pay attention, listen to our bodies, and find the right people to help us that we all have the ability to heal, transform, and live our most authentic, loving selves.